On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
