Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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