I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
