Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
