some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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