My room smells like vodka and shame
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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