she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
