Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she pinky promised me she was 18
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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