hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
