who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
