I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
