just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
