I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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