We won't sleep together?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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