yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
