Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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