Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
