Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
