Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Swine flu. Run for my life!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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