At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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