so that wasnt chicken after all
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
