At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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