i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
