so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
