I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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