it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize