My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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