He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
