There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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