I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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