we have pet lesbian snakes
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
