Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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