If that was your dad, he is hot
it hurts more in the daytime
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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