were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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