I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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