you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
