I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
