And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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