hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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