I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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