covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
