youre lurking in front of me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
