Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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