okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
