Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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