Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
