just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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