weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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