A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
