I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
