i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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