Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize