ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Shame - the story of my life.
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