I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have fence marks all over my body
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
