His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
