Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize