So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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